July 18, 2010

Threadless + Havaianas contest!

Screen shot 2010-07-15 at 6.14.52 PM

I was clicking around on Threadless a few weeks ago and noticed their cool new “Living in Harmony” dual guitar design (acoustic? electric? how about both). I tend to be lamely paralyzed by indecision when buying clothing online and didn’t get it then, but serendipitously now the folks at Threadless have contacted me with a sweet little promo contest for you guys!

Fuel/Friends has a prize pack to give away containing the tshirt design by artist Josh Perkins, and matching Havaianas flip flops as well. You may or may not wear them together, depending on how completely dedicated to the idea of musical fashion you wish to appear.

TO WIN! I know this might cause you to groan, but you need to find a great joke to leave in the comments for me — one that makes you laugh out loud. The other night on a bicycle pubcrawl, I was talking about jokes and how hard it is to remember them when needed, and I realized I need some new fodder. Here’s my latest favorite: How do you get 100 Canadians to get out of a swimming pool? You say, “Please get out of the swimming pool.”

And because I like this song, both the original electric and this acoustic re-interpretation:

Reptilia (acoustic Strokes cover) – Howie Beck

Tagged with .


  • What did the fish say when he ran into the wall….


    There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot holding a stick.

    Allen — July 18, 2010 @ 11:16 pm

  • 1. why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?

    fo’ drizzle!

    2. how many ears did davy crockett have?

    three. a left ear, a right ear, and a wild front ear!

    pick me, pick me!

    heather b. — July 18, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

  • yes. like that. that made me laugh out loud. i have the sense of humor of a ten year old.

    here’s another excellent one:
    what do you call a psychic midget, recently escaped from prison?

    a small medium at large.

    browneheather — July 18, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

  • Here are a few – easy to remember, ranging from stupid to stupider (which is prolly why I like ‘em!)

    Q – What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    A – Nacho cheese.

    Q – What do you call four Spaniards caught in quicksand?
    A – Cuatro sink-o.

    Two snowmen are standing out in a field. The second turns to the first and says, “Yeah…I smell carrots too.”

    My current fave:
    Guy calls the operator – “Hi, I’m looking for a phone number for Mary Jones, can you help?
    Operator – “I can find that number for you, but I’ll need some more information to go on – do you have a street name?”
    Guy – “Yeah, my friends call me The Iceman.”

    jimbo — July 19, 2010 @ 12:07 am

  • What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
    The Feeding Tube

    What did one goldfish say to the other?
    It’s wet in here

    Fred — July 19, 2010 @ 12:16 am

  • OK, I’m going to give you my old faithful here. It’s the one I pull out when the evening’s getting late and the mood’s starting to settle.

    “What’s Mary short for?” …….. “Because she has no legs.”

    Matthew Kingsley — July 19, 2010 @ 5:13 am

  • My very first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate!

    Rick Gallant — July 19, 2010 @ 5:49 am

  • A woman walks into a bar. The bartender asks “What can I get you?”
    The woman says “I’ll have a double entendre.”
    So the bartender gives it to her.

    (delivery note: It sometimes helps people get it if you put some extra emphasis on “gives it to her”…you can even do a little subtle motion with your fist if you think your audience is a little dense.)

    Robb — July 19, 2010 @ 6:28 am

  • Any time my husband can find an excuse to wear one of those headlamps used for camping or other outdoor activities, he likes to announce, “I got this light when I was 17 because I was a miner.”

    sasha — July 19, 2010 @ 6:29 am

  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
    The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was amazing.

    Josh — July 19, 2010 @ 7:25 am

  • This one killed me the first time I heard it, cuz everyone thinks they know the answer.

    Q:What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

    A: “R”. (Usually with a groan cuz everyone already knows this one)

    Re-A: Nah, it be the “C”!

    JJ — July 19, 2010 @ 7:42 am

  • Two Cajuns are walking down a dusty road one afternoon when they spot a dog under a large shade tree. Having walked a while they decide to stop and watch the dog as he begins to lick himself where dogs like to lick themselves.

    After a few minutes Beauregard says “Boy, I sure wish I could do that!” His friend Thibodeaux shakes his head and replies “Mannnnnn, that dog would bite youuuu.”

    Steve — July 19, 2010 @ 8:23 am

  • I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

    What does Beowulf like for breakfast?

    - Just a little Danish.

    So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra…

    Nathan — July 19, 2010 @ 8:30 am

  • A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, “Hey – we have a drink named after you!”

    The grasshopper replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”

    Beth — July 19, 2010 @ 10:36 am

  • Told to me by an 8 year old!

    8 y/o: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    Me: I don’t know. What?

    8 y/o: You better straighten up or someone will think we’re nuts.

    Hysterical laughter ensued. Best part…I’m pretty sure the 8 y/o didn’t know what nuts were. :D

    Courtney — July 19, 2010 @ 11:37 am

  • Knock Knock
    Who’s There?
    Little Boy Blue
    Little Boy Blue Who?
    Michael Jackson

    Ian — July 19, 2010 @ 11:54 am

  • Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because he was dead.

    k — July 19, 2010 @ 12:37 pm

  • You might need to be English to get this one:

    Q. What did they call Postman Pat after he retired?

    A. Pat

    Shut-the-folk-up — July 19, 2010 @ 12:42 pm

  • What’s brown and sticky?

    A stick!

    LB — July 19, 2010 @ 2:00 pm

  • Little boy’s father: Do you charge a lot for your circumcisions?

    Rabbi: No, I just keep the tips.

    chris — July 19, 2010 @ 4:30 pm

  • This one is a little dirty, but it made me LOL :)

    Q:What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

    A: It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.

    daryn — July 19, 2010 @ 5:21 pm

  • Three guys in a bar are discussing the cars they drive.

    The first guy says, “Well, I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.”

    The second guy says, “Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.”

    And the third guy says, “I got you both beat. I’m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.”

    Steph — July 19, 2010 @ 6:56 pm

  • Q: What did one eye say to another?

    A:”Between you and me, something smells.”


    Brittany — July 19, 2010 @ 8:01 pm

  • A man sits down at an empty bar and orders a drink. The bartender hands it to him and then turns his back to clean some glasses. The man sits and nurses his drink, eats some of the nuts that are sitting out on the bar and then he hears a little voice say “I like your shirt!”

    The man looks up at the bartender and says “Uh, thanks?” The bartender doesn’t look up from his work.

    A few more minutes pass and the man hears the little voice again. “I like your glasses!”

    “Thanks, I guess,” the man says to the bartender’s back.

    A few more minutes pass and the man hears the voice one more time. “I like your hair like that!”

    The man puts his drink down and addresses the bartender. “Look, man, I’m flattered, really, but I don’t really swing that way.”

    The bartender finally turns around and says “I haven’t said a word to you.”

    The man is confused. “Well, who has been talkin’ to me?”

    The bartender answers “It’s the nuts. They’re complimentary.”

    Brianna — July 19, 2010 @ 9:20 pm

  • 1. Two peanuts were walking down a street. One was assualted.

    2. This one translates poorly in writing, but -
    Q: What are Mario’s favorite kind of pants?
    A: Denim denim denim.. [sung in the mario theme.. get it?? it's really clever haha]

    3. Q: What kind of birds flock together?
    A: Vel-crows.

    Pamela — July 20, 2010 @ 2:05 am

  • What did the inflatable principal of an inflatable school say to the inflatable student when he brought a thumb tack to class?

    – Not only have you let me down, you’ve let yourself down and you’ve let the whole school down :)

    Anna — July 20, 2010 @ 2:46 am

  • I’ll sleep a little better knowing there’s still plenty of lame yet funny jokes in the world. I just wanted to leave a shout here to thank you for introducing me to that Reptilia cover, very cool stuff indeed.


    Christof — July 20, 2010 @ 7:17 am

  • Makes me laugh every time:

    What did the grown-up buffalo say to the teenage buffalo when sending him off to college?


    John Barber — July 20, 2010 @ 12:28 pm

  • I cheat……

    Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    A pile-up.
    A pile-up who?

    No need for a last line, really. I’m sure there is one, though, if you need closure.

    Harold — July 20, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

  • yaaaaay harold returns!

    browneheather — July 20, 2010 @ 1:13 pm

  • Harold never left…he was just perched in the tree outside your bedroom window waiting for the perfect opportunity to soften your heart with a knock knock joke so you’d rescind the restraining order.

    Harold — July 20, 2010 @ 1:23 pm

  • Nickelback.

    Kathleen — July 20, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

  • Q: Why was the turkey allowed to be in a Rock band?

    A: He was the only one with Drum-sticks.

    (And this next one is funny if said out loud)

    Q: Would you like to hear 2 short jokes and 1 long joke?

    A: Joke, Joke, Jooooooooooooooooooke.

    Nikki — July 20, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

  • A little long but very memorable

    A frog goes into a bank for a loan and sits down at the desk of Mrs Wack, a loan officer. He tell her he needs a loan. She asks how much and he say one million. She says there is no way a frog can get a loan like that. The frog says “maybe you should know my father is Mick Jagger” She says it doesn’t matter who his father is, you will need some colateral for a loan like that. So the frog reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ceramic elephant and shows it to her. The loan officer say she has no idea what that is and she will have to go ask her boss. She goes into her bosses office and says that there is a frog in her office who wants a loan of a million dollars. She tells her boss that the frog said his father is Mick Jagger and then for colateral he showed her the elephant. She says to her boss “I don’t even know what that is” and the boss says “Well thats a nick knack Patty Wack give the frog a loan, his old mans a Rolling Stone”

    Doug — July 20, 2010 @ 5:20 pm

  • How do you get Rosie O’donnell into a bikini?

    You take the ‘f’ out of ‘way’… say the answer to that out loud until you get it, it’s killer!

    rene' — July 20, 2010 @ 5:48 pm

  • [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Eversilences, Christopher Diaz. Christopher Diaz said: FREE MUSIC DOWNLOAD : Strokes Cover & Contest http://www.fuelfriendsblog.com/2010/07/18/threadless-havaianas-contest/ http://fb.me/CGzjRtg5 [...]

    Tweets that mention Threadless + Havaianas contest! | Fuel/Friends Music Blog -- Topsy.com — July 20, 2010 @ 6:38 pm

  • “God, is it true that a million years is only a second to you?”


    “And is it true that a million dollars is just a penny to you?


    “Can I have a penny?”


    JohnnyHank — July 20, 2010 @ 8:21 pm

  • My favorite? Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “You drive. I’ll man the guns.”


    Faith — July 21, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

  • another one of my favorites:

    “Why can’t white people tell jokes–timing.” (said all at once)

    browneheather — July 21, 2010 @ 1:20 pm

  • Okay, kids, I’ve read over all of these and then went back and tested my runners-up to see which ones still made me laugh. The winner was John Barber:

    What did the grown-up buffalo say to the teenage buffalo when sending him off to college?


    Yep, it just did it again. Man, I’ve got a lame sense of humor. Congrats John! Contest closed.

    browneheather — July 21, 2010 @ 1:43 pm

  • and Harold loses the contest for using a joke I told him.

    browneheather — July 21, 2010 @ 1:48 pm

  • Why didn’t the pony talk? Because he was a little horse.

    Corey — July 21, 2010 @ 4:29 pm

  • Ok, it was probably all in my 4 year-old’s delivery, but it was a good laugh:
    Q – What did the frog say when he laid a square egg?
    A – Ouch.

    laura — July 21, 2010 @ 7:17 pm

  • Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

    Because he was tired of haulin’ oats!


    Max — July 22, 2010 @ 12:59 am

  • OK- Here’s two blondes and a bar joke

    Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

    She heard the drinks where on the house.

    A blonde walks into the library and says to the librarian, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’
    ‘Sorry, this is a library.’

    So the blonde whispers, ‘Oh, may I have a burger and fries?’

    A lady walks into a bar and says,” Barkeep, gimme a martooni.” The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, ”Barkeep, gimme another martooni.” So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesn’t say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says,” Would you like another?” She says,” Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn.”

    The bartender says, ”Okay, there are three things wrong here:
    Number 1: It’s martini, not martooni.
    Number 2: It’s bartender, not barkeep, and
    Number 3: You’re not having heartburn, your boob’s in the ash tray.”

    yuk it up !

    Duane in NH — July 22, 2010 @ 9:09 am

  • Harold loses for using a joke that YOU told HIM? My memory may be a little hazy from ingesting all that brake fluid, but I coulda sworn it was the other way around. This is rigged…rigged I say!

    I think the Nickelback fella should have won, cuz that’s funny AND true. :-)

    Harold — July 22, 2010 @ 9:33 am

  • I know the contest is closed but I just figured out how to unzip the Fuel Friends Summer Plunge on my puter and am loading it into my truck for cruising in the oppressive heat while searching for the perfect ice cold beer with Salsa and Chips today. I can not let a joke contest go by without chiming in even if a winner was already announced!

    “What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?”

    answer: An epileptic oyster shucker, shucks between fits …. “

    RoyO — July 24, 2010 @ 1:05 pm

  • A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

    Abhishek Duggal — July 25, 2010 @ 4:24 am

  • So, there’s this cowboy that’s been out driving cattle for months in the hot, dry desert. It’s been a miserable drive. His ass hurts, they ran out of whiskey on the first week and they’re going on their eighth week now. They eat the same thing, every day, and most importantly he hasn’t seen or been with a woman since long before he left.

    Finally the drive comes to an end and the cowboy has two things on his mind. Booze and women.

    So, he walks into a saloon, and it’s basically just him, the bartender and this woman, so he’s thinking “alright, this looks promising”. He sits down, a couple stools down from the woman, and orders a bottle of whiskey, and almost as soon as he does the woman scoots down closer and is kinda looking him over, so he’s drinking and feeling good.

    The woman, looks up and asks him,..”are you a real cowboy?”

    The cowboys like, “well, I drive cattle, I ride a horse,..yes m’aam, I am”.

    The woman kinda smirks, and says “well, I’m a lesbian,…do you know what that is?”

    And the cowboy, scratches his chin and says no, m’aam I don’t believe I do.”

    So, the woman explains, “well, all day instead of thinking about men, I think about women,…a nice ass, a nice pair of legs, etc, etc,….I can’t get women off my mind”. She smirks again, finishes her drink and leaves the bar.

    The cowboy pours another drink, and is obviously very confused.

    A few drinks later a tourist couple walks into the bar, and sits at the bar as well, and they look at the cowboy, then look away nervous, and they do this for a while until they finally work up the courage to ask,…”sir, are you a real cowboy?”

    The cowboy, sighs, picks up his drink and says, ” well, I always thought I was a cowboy until today. Today I found out I was a lesbian.”


    Josh — July 26, 2010 @ 12:32 am

  • haha, I just scrolled up and saw the contest was closed.

    Josh — July 26, 2010 @ 12:33 am

  • let the record show that harold told me that joke, and i appropriated it for my own. sigh.

    browneheather — July 26, 2010 @ 12:27 pm

  • Courtesy of my favorite comedian, George Carlin:

    “You know the good part about all those executions in Texas?

    Fewer Texans.”

    Krista — July 26, 2010 @ 5:14 pm

  • My little brother has a book of monster jokes, here are my favorites:

    What did the monster eat for dinner at the restaurant?

    The Building!

    What’s brown on the outside and hairy on the inside?

    A werewolf in a paper bag!

    Kennan — July 28, 2010 @ 6:57 am

  • Wait, you can really get Threadless designs on flip-flops? This is going to change my life.

    James — April 18, 2011 @ 10:00 pm

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Bio Pic Name: Heather Browne
Location: Colorado, originally by way of California
Giving context to the torrent since 2005.

"I love the relationship that anyone has with music: because there's something in us that is beyond the reach of words, something that eludes and defies our best attempts to spit it out. It's the best part of us, probably, the richest and strangest part..."
—Nick Hornby, Songbook
"Music has always been a matter of energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel."
—Hunter S. Thompson

Mp3s are for sampling purposes, kinda like when they give you the cheese cube at Costco, knowing that you'll often go home with having bought the whole 7 lb. spiced Brie log. They are left up for a limited time. If you LIKE the music, go and support these artists, buy their schwag, go to their concerts, purchase their CDs/records and tell all your friends. Rock on.

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