May 4, 2007

Win twelve inches of a storm called Brian from the Arctic Monkeys

The Arctic Monkeys‘ favourite worst nightmare is finding one day that there is actually a band out there with a more awful name than theirs, when they thought they had the market cornered.

I’ve got a 12″ vinyl containing the catchy track Brianstorm (+3) to give away to one lucky reader that can tell me the name of a band even worse than theirs. It can be similarly Simian, correspondingly baffling re: geographical origins, or just plain bad.

Go.

BRIANSTORM 12″ TRACKLIST
(that album art totally makes me think of Captain E.O.)

1. If You Found This It’s Probably Too Late
2. Brianstorm (here’s a live version from Jimmy Kimmel)
3. Temptation Greets You Like Your Naughty Friend
4. What If You Were Right The First Time

PS – Contest runs a week.

These songs are not on the vinyl. I just like them.
Mardy Bum – Arctic Monkeys (I’m already thinkin’ summer mix)
Flourescent Adolescent – Arctic Monkeys
Take It Or Leave It (Strokes cover) – Arctic Monkeys

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35 Comments »

  • I love Dr Dog but really hate the name “Dr Dog.” There’s also Enter The Haggis.

    miguel — May 4, 2007 @ 11:34 am

  • GWAR.

    Branden — May 4, 2007 @ 12:20 pm

  • “Throbbing Gristle” – always thought that was a bad one.

    Eric — May 4, 2007 @ 12:46 pm

  • Bad band names. The thought always takes me back to my fantasy tag team wrestling match between REOVanJourneyStyx vs Flock of MissingMenWithoutHaircut

    Lubenow — May 4, 2007 @ 3:31 pm

  • I’m not playing, just commenting to vent about the Arctic Sodding Monkeys being on Jools Holland tonight in the UK – the same night my beloved Hold Steady are on. Mute switch at the ready…

    lism. — May 4, 2007 @ 4:29 pm

  • I always thought coldplay was dumb

    Anonymous — May 4, 2007 @ 4:33 pm

  • there was a band called ‘Lickity Clit’ that I thought was pretty bad.

    also, Incognegro was pretty bad as well.

    hunter — May 4, 2007 @ 5:19 pm

  • Lynyrd’s Innards

    Happy — May 4, 2007 @ 8:46 pm

  • This probably won’t win, but how about Billy’s Choir?

    Oxypoet — May 4, 2007 @ 10:11 pm

  • Hitler Stole My Potato

    Electric Blue Peggy Sue and the Revolutionions from Mars

    Green Milk From The Planet Orange

    Colonel Bruce Hampton and the Aquarium Rescue Unit

    Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles

    or perhaps my personal favourite:
    National Ass Groovin’ Association

    Fintin — May 5, 2007 @ 2:36 am

  • I completely agree, the arctic monkeys is a foolish name. My vote for the worst band name is…The Pussycat Dolls. Crappy name, crappy show and crappy, if you can call them this, band.

    Kess

    Anonymous — May 5, 2007 @ 5:32 am

  • The Rainbow Buttmonkeys.

    Paul — May 5, 2007 @ 6:23 am

  • Haka Luge

    Jerry — May 5, 2007 @ 7:12 am

  • slightly depressed clowns

    Anonymous — May 5, 2007 @ 7:44 am

  • the lettering on the 12 inch looks like a really bad metal lp cover from 1984…..with songs like “i want to clean your spark plug”

    SINEDDIE — May 5, 2007 @ 8:48 am

  • anyone remember the ban d “elvis hitler” ???? there’s a bad one!!

    SINEDDIE — May 5, 2007 @ 8:50 am

  • Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

    Seriously.

    It’s not offensive or sexual in nature. It’s not even stupid enough to be stupid.

    If this wasn’t generated by a random band name generator, then nobody uses those things.

    szg — May 5, 2007 @ 3:13 pm

  • Sticking with the good band, bad name thing I’d have to say Archers of Loaf.

    pcauvel@rochester.rr.com

    Peter — May 5, 2007 @ 3:33 pm

  • My two cents. Or, I guess three cents, in this case (along with sources so you know I didn’t make this up!!):

    Impotent Sea Snakes
    (http://impotentseasnakes.com/)

    The Crucifucks
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifucks)

    The Might Sphincter
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mighty_Sphincter)

    aikin — May 5, 2007 @ 9:31 pm

  • H

    Is having a terrible bandname a Yorkshire thing – need I say Def Leppard.

    Also …

    Crispy Ambulance

    We’ve got a fuzzbox and we’re gonna use it

    Toad the wet sprocket

    They all really suck

    Chris, Tottington UK

    Anonymous — May 5, 2007 @ 11:32 pm

  • Dang, someone took the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Well, Deadboy and the Elephantmen is pretty bad, not to mention disturbing. It’s also really hard to tell someone you’re listening to Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin. Just yesterday I had to repeat the name 5 times to someone… then my friend started paying attention and said, “Wait, what’s this?”

    Anonymous — May 5, 2007 @ 11:57 pm

  • cute is what we aim for

    Ian — May 6, 2007 @ 2:01 pm

  • the hands down winner is:

    dogs die in hot cars.

    jakehutch — May 7, 2007 @ 6:44 pm

  • Simian Mobile Disco. Hands down.

    Jad — May 9, 2007 @ 12:05 am

  • I was going for Dogs die in Hot Cars. I don’t like the name Keane, good for a Championship manager (well premiership), not good for tubby faced pop stars.

    sam — May 9, 2007 @ 11:30 am

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Bio Pic Name: Heather Browne
Location: Colorado, originally by way of California
Giving context to the torrent since 2005.

"I love the relationship that anyone has with music: because there's something in us that is beyond the reach of words, something that eludes and defies our best attempts to spit it out. It's the best part of us, probably, the richest and strangest part..."
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