Here are just a few of the suppositions from www.chucknorrisfacts.com that made me do that silent laugh thing:
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
- Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Oh, my sides. Aidez moi. It hurts.