November 30, 2009

Rocking the holidays, racking up the family points

christmas tree'

A friend of a friend from Berkeley came up with a most excellent and hilarious holiday game, to while away the hours you spend with your extended family this holiday season.

Sarah’s Holiday Game Scorecard

You can also go back and award yourself points for all those awkward and wonderful interactions you remember from this weekend, too.

I (mostly) successfully roasted my fourth turkey ever, except this year I couldn’t find the giblets and ended up leaving the bag in the bird. Hey, at least it was a papery bag. And that thar is my Christmas tree, which I also managed to put up this weekend. I am a holiday goddess of sorts.

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November 25, 2009

Are you gonna be mad at me if I post a Christmas song already?

I’ve been sitting on my hands since the beginning of the month waiting to revel with you in this bonus track from Julian Casablancas’ new solo album. Now that turkey day comes tomorrow, and after we are all thankful, the Christmas season officially begins — I feel ready to take this step with you and open the seasonal floodgates.

First of all, this video still makes me DIE LAUGHING:

[direct link]

The thing with the head rotating forward and to the side! Oh, Chris Kattan.

And then Casablancas goes and makes it a bonus track on his new album, and makes it sound like early Strokes — which is a good thing that we sincerely, truly wish he would do more often.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today – Julian Casablancas

(also, those opening bells hit me like the N.E.R.D./Santogold collaboration he did with “My Drive Thru” that’s still super fun for the dancing and hip-shaking)

October 26, 2008

The runaway smash hit of election season

It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly how I found myself dancing in a music video about bacon and Obama — but I know when one gets an invitation to wear bacon-hued clothes and come prepared to dance on a Sunday afternoon, you best listen. Plus, I guess I’ve always wanted to be a girl in a hip-hop video, really ever since my days of watching In Living Color. So it’s kind of a no-brainer.

After the taping a few weekends ago, I was singing this song for days (“heat up the griddle cuz that bacon got sizzle!”). Oh, watch at your own risk.

Bacon in ’08, preferably crispy.

[and arguably even better: go behind the scenes here]

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October 13, 2008

Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It

Although they would prefer not to. Via The Onion.

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September 20, 2008

Hipster poetry / makes my morning delightful / cautionary tales

O, hipster nation:
The dive bars, the vintage duds?
Great material.

Apparently a delightful new sub-genre of poetry is forming roots: the Hipster Haiku. In a traditional 5/7/5 metric scheme, one can skew the dark underbelly of indie youth culture with a pointed collection of words. Exhibits A, B, and C:

It remains so cold
In the space between my Vans
And footless leggings

Only blazer-clad
Huddled like bees, our hands hold
hand-rolled cigarettes

When the tattoos creep
Past the sleeve line to knuckles,
Time to quit retail.

Please note: an important distinction is to be drawn between the hipster haiku and the hipster sestina. Being more complex and dating back to the Renaissance poetry of Dante and Petrarch, the sestina is arguably even better (and my love of Vespas just made me laugh out loud at this bit of fantasticness):

Love in the Time of Vespas

At the old café, I like to sit and stare
At women passing by, while watching my Vespa,
Parked at the corner near the bar.
Security in this neighborhood is loose
And I sometimes worry about the thin
Chain lock that protects my ride.

I remember offering you a ride,
Just to penetrate your thousand-mile stare.
You were magnetic, so aloof and thin.
When you climbed on the back of my Vespa,
I loved how you put one arm loose
Around my waist, instead of holding the safety bar.

I took you straight to my favorite bar,
Even though you probably wanted a ride
Home. I warned you, my standards are loose.
I admitted I couldn’t help but stare.
You were gracious, asked about my Vespa.
I didn’t notice your patience wearing thin.

You had a pack of very French, very thin
cigarettes, and the smoke hung over the bar
like a cloud of dust in the wake of a Vespa.
When you yawned, I finally gave you a ride
home. Then I stood outside your window to stare.
I couldn’t shake myself loose.

On an impulse, I pulled my scooter key loose
From its chain, and slid its thin
Promise under your door. I could imagine your stare,
Your surprise. “Meet me at the bar
tomorrow,” I scrawled, “and we can go for another ride.”
The next day: no you. No Vespa.

So I had to buy this new, crappier Vespa.
The law has allowed you to run loose,
Claiming there are other scooters to ride,
And the line between gift and theft is too thin.
I should tell you that you’ve raised the bar—
I see you now in every woman who commands my stare.

I watch you, thin and intense, ride
Your Vespa toward what was once our bar.
Your hair is loose. You avoid my stare.

BONUS: An anthem for Vespa riders (with my stab at lyrical translation in the comments); one of my favorites from my time studying abroad in Italy.

Vespa 50 Special – Lunapop

Buy Hipster Haiku here.
[thanks Ben!]

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August 8, 2008

Soundgarden Inadvertently Reunites At Area Cinnabon

via The Onion:
SEATTLE—”At first it was pretty awkward,” said one observer. “But then it was like, ‘Yes, Soundgarden is back.’ It was so intense.”

full article

(“…In turn, the 44-year-old lead singer responded by serenading Thayil with a version of the group’s hit song “Black Hole Sun” in which he replaced the titular phrase with the word “Cinnabon”…)

May 29, 2008

First drafts of the parables of Jesus

From Dave Eggers’ journal McSweeney’s:

Jesus said, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

One of the disciples asked, “What of the man who builds his house inside the house built on the rock? Surely his house will be even less damaged by water and wind. Is this what we should do?”

And Jesus said, “No, don’t do that.”

I just laughed myself silly.

PS: Look at the CD you can order! I made one myself when I first read this book, but heck — this is a lot less work.

May 22, 2008

“Moshi moshi, Dunder Mifflin Corp?”

I’m not gonna lie, I cackled at this. Now we know how to (probably) say “That’s what she said” in Japanese:

An SNL Digital Short

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May 18, 2008

“Alkaline, clementine, valentine, columbine . . . (the flower not the high school massacre)”

I missed this first time around a few months ago but thanks to Ashley for pointing it out again.

So what does make the perfect song? Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein have some ideas on the matter. And in my opinion, the real triumph here is that they filmed this whole bit without laughing:

(originally posted on

Nice Corin Tucker cameo at the end.

May 14, 2008

SOMETHING about you makes me want IHOP today

Yeah, you’re gonna need to click refresh quite a few times.


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Bio Pic Name: Heather Browne
Location: Colorado, originally by way of California
Giving context to the torrent since 2005.

"I love the relationship that anyone has with music: because there's something in us that is beyond the reach of words, something that eludes and defies our best attempts to spit it out. It's the best part of us, probably, the richest and strangest part..."
—Nick Hornby, Songbook
"Music has always been a matter of energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel."
—Hunter S. Thompson

Mp3s are for sampling purposes, kinda like when they give you the cheese cube at Costco, knowing that you'll often go home with having bought the whole 7 lb. spiced Brie log. They are left up for a limited time. If you LIKE the music, go and support these artists, buy their schwag, go to their concerts, purchase their CDs/records and tell all your friends. Rock on.

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